phenomena of my life, brutal !

Rase tak keruan ahh ! dulu aq gilew nak jdi pendz sbb lelaki ! & lps uh aq brubah jdi normal smula p0m sbb lelaki. . . & skunk aq ase id0p aq hanch0 p0m sbb lelaki ! wla0pn d0rg owg yg berlaenan, BUT, d0rg still lelaki ! kkdang aq suke mrk yg bergelar lelaki & kkdg aq benci ! mrk lha pnyebab aq kearah kebaekan & kburukkan ! skunk ati aq skit gilew di sbb lelaki ! & dlm masa yg same, ad owg add aq lam gr0up pendz ! k0wg ase, pt0t ke aq uat kesalahn uh utk kedua kalinyew ? aq ingt nk insaf & time knyataan diriku sbagai wanita ! BUT, sbb trlalu mnyayangi & mmbenci lelaki itu lhaa yg mnebabkan aq stress ! ya ALLAH. aq buntu ! dunia pendz, tanpa lelaki ! BUT, ia jga dunia tnpa restu ALLAH. aq tk ta0 nk uat caner ! aq ase taim nih nk ngis glew ! cm ad bom nk mletup jea lam ati aq ! sdih yg teramat ! id0p keliru. aq ta0, bile sume nih aq p0st di blog, akn ad insan yg terkejut dgn aq. BUT, ini lhaa diriku. se0wg manusia yg hina, yg pnh mnjdi sbhgian budak pendz. Apa yg nak di herankan ? aq mmg camnih. prngai aq teruk ! stakat sumpah mnyumpah uh, mmg makanan aq tiap hari ! s0 what ? benci aq ? tk sukew prngai aq ? it's okay ! sbb aq p0m bnci diri aq sndiri. Aq sllu mngajar owg spya mnyyngi diri sndiri lbih dri mnusia laen, agar mrk tk terluka ! HEY ! look at me ! aq mnusia USELESS ! pndai nasihat owg, diri sndiri tk pnh trurus. So, ape aq nk uat ? aq nk mati, amalan tk cuk0p ! aq nk id0p, trlalu mnyiksakan ! pnhkh kowg rasai situasi sprti aq ? rase tk ta0 mne nk tuju. Sumenyew kabur. . .& kkdg, sering ku brtnya masih layakkah aq di muka bumi ? layakkah aq merasai nikmat di dunia ? layakkah aq miliki hati & prasaan se0rg insan brhati suci ? layakkah aq brdiri ? layakkah aq ? layakkah ? ! sbb, apa yg ku berikn, tk pnh jdi khidupan ! smua yg ku inginkn, mnja0h dari khidupan ! Selalukah aq kalah ? selalukah aq menang ? Siapakh aq sbnar ? hnya brpandukan nme di kad pngenalan & backgr0und my family. . . tk mnjanjikan ape2 utk aq kenali diri sndiri. Aq owg asing bagi diri sndiri. Hati & fikiranku, tidk sehaluan. . . kebuntuan apakah ini ? mnyakitkan atiku jea ! ntah bile derita ini akan berakhir ? ! aq sndiri tidak pasti ! ku harapkn, yg indah hadir jua~ (:

you are my yoghurt . .

Humm, hari palink meletihkan aq. Sume menda aq nak uat. keje uh, keje nih & pape jea lhaa. Bukannyew aq saje2 nk tunjuk rajin /blakon rajin. BUT, actually. . aq saje jea nk sibukkn diri aq dgn menda2 laen. Yea aah ! smalam aq jnji nk lupewkn dy an.. s0, nih lam pr0ses aa nih. Tpi, aq nih mengonk gak snanyew. Dah abis menda aq nk uat, tgk2 kt 2syem tdi, aq mamai seyh ! first2 sub BI, okey ag. pas uh, sub SCIENCE. mula2 uh, pnyew lhaa aq p0y0 nyew... g d0p dpn skali., konon2nyew nak *FOCUS. Last2, *SIAK *CILABI ouh aq. ngant0p bangang ! dah lhaa SIR uh asyik pndg jea aq. nk tk nk, tpaksa lhaa aq bukak mata aq. HAHAA. mata jea tbukak, OTAk ku ?? di alam mnew entah. ?! cikgu tnya., aq say : FAHAM, ciap angguk2 ag. seb baek dy tk soal aq.., la0 tk ! HUISSHH ! alamatnyew~ malu lhaa aq. :'P hahaa. Dlm sronok d0p layan mamai aq uh. . . Ttiba aq g tulis nama  dy kt buku aq. ! aq p0m tk prasan bile masa aq tulis mnda uh ! Ad0oyy ! nak ngis ase.. ); apsl bnyk2 owg, dy plink susa aq nk lupekn ? asal ingat dy jea, aq jdi tk kruan ! lps abis 2syem tdi., mmber aq ad ckp s0mthing kt aq. . Aq mmg dgr ap yg dy ckp, tpi tuh lhaa. . my heart still d0p ingt dy, pk psl dy, s0. . scara *FACT nyew~ aq tk ta0 ap mnda mmber aq ckp tdi ! Ingt psl dy jea, da ck0p mletihkn aq. SIAL an id0p aq ? nk citer, owg tk kn phm ! simpan s0wg., uat aq jdi gilew ! s0, aq just boleyh time hakikat yg id0p aq nih mmg *MNYEDIHKN. Di rumah, di skola or mane2 jea. sume owg pk aq nih priang., kaki kec0h ! yeah , stu ary aq tk mlalak dlm kls or tk kacau owg., mmg sah2 aq jdi sewel ! BUT, dorunk tk phm. . . sikap aq cm uh sbb aq bnyk msalah . .  & agy p0m aq tk suka id0p sunyi sepi. ); bukan tuh jea. mlihat owg skeliling aq sedih jea, memadai uat aq ase sedih. That why, aq tk epy ? tk pew. BUT, mrk tk epy ? aq kesah gilew2. s0, jdi pencuit hati pd owg skeliling aq sudah ck0p brmakna utk aq TERSENYUM :) humm, dy ! mski p0m aq tk miliki aty dy. setidak2nyew dy pnh hadir dlm hati aq wlao sketika waktu. Kami pnh rapat ! btol kea ? ntah ! aq p0m tk sure. . HOWEVER ., sgala cerita yg dy critakn kpdku, gelagat dy yg sdikit mengonk, cerita tntg kami, ape2 jea psl 'setiap detik wktu yg pnh aq habiskn brsama dy wktu dulu'.., ku simpan ia 'KETAT-KETAT' dlm ingatanku. . .  kerana kite SAHABAT selamanyew. ;D mgkin skunk, ka0 sdg mlupakn aq. & aq bukn lhaa sesiape d mata ka0. BUT, sape ta0. . . mgkin kite akn brsama kmbali di hujung hari ;)

hard, but i hv to move on . .

this is the time. Now, dgn rela hatinyew. . . aq lpaskan dy prgi dari hati aq. Tk guna simpan dy dlm hati la0 sume uh mmbebankan fikiran aq. & dy p0n lbih okay dgn kputusan aq skunk. Tk ade gnanyew ku belai jiwa aq untuk dy. Dy bknnyew sesiapa pada aq sacara *FACT. aq da muak + letih jalani id0p dlm mimpi. Andai aq dpt undur masa, aq harap aq tk pnh sukai dy. Secara adil & saksama. . . aq melepaskan dy secara rasmi. :) ehh, japp ! apsal aq nk lepaskn dy plak, aq nan dy bknnyew ad ikatan ape2 p0n. HAHAA. b0nget lhaa aq nih. hmm, it's okay then. Aq tk kn sukew kn dy mulai saat ini, detik ini bermula pukul 23:46 , 16/12/2011 hingga lhaa selama2nyew. S0, ka0 bukn ssiape lgi bgi aq. YEA ! la0 p0n aq sndri tk ta0 sbnyk mnew aq sukew ka0 tp, aq akui sngt sukar nk lpskn ka0 prgi. . . BTW., aq mmg brtekad tk akn sukew kn ka0 da. . . but, surely. . . aq tk kn dpt lupekn ka0. prasaan bisa ku hapus wla0pn prlahan-lahan. tpi, wajah ka0. . biar lhaa trsimpan d hati aq sbagai 'POTRET TERINDAH' . . .

  : : HARUSKAH KU MATI : :                   

Bagaimana mestinya…

Membuatmu jatuh hati kepadaku

Tlah kutulis kan sejuta puisi

Meyakinkanmu membalas cintaku

Haruskah ku mati karena mu

Terkubur dalam kesedihan sepanjang waktu

Haruskah kurelakan hidupku

Hanya demi cinta yg mungkin bisa membunuh ku

Hentikan denyut nadi jantung ku

Tanpa kautau betapa suci hatiku

Untuk memiliki mu

Adakah keikhasan

Dalam palung jiwamu mengetukku

Ajarkan mu bahasa perasaan

Hingga hatimu tak lagi membeku

Haruskah ku mati karena mu

Terkubur dalam kesedihan sepanjang waktu

Haruskah kurelakan hidupku

Hanya demi cinta yg mungkin bisa membunuh ku

Hentikan denyut nadi jantung ku

Tanpa kau tau betapa suci hatiku

Untuk memiliki mu

Tiadakah ruang di hatimu untukku

Yang mungkin bisa ‘tuk kusinggahi

Hanya sekedar penyejuk disaat ku layu

Ku tlah menantimu hingga akhir masa

forget it all

AAARRRGGGHHHH ! sudah lhaa. Makin aq pk makin KERUH id0p aq. BHAYYyy ! owg laen p0m berPRASAAN ugak ! tp, aq nih mmg TERUK ! masalah, aq anggap serius. Menda yg kecik p0m aq tk boleyh nk handle. HATI tuh milik tuannyew. Lao aq sndri tk dpt nk control.. huh ! ape kew JADAHnyew ?
Hidup mmg tk adil, & aq lhaa yg mmbuad ia mkin KUSUT ! makin aq brfikir, mkin bnyk mslah brtimbun dlm kpala hotakx aq ! Dunia skunk ! sib0k dgn mslah CINTA ! owg laen brcinta., clash, dah uh ! merana tk bertempat. i mte kua saje2. es0k lusa cari yg laen. ! okeng~ aq nih laen hal ! sjak kcik sampy besar. mslahnyew aq nih tk leh nk confess feeling aq ! mnda kecik jea. example : la0 aq confess n dy tolak. neva mind aa. bukak buku bwu ! BUT, yg aq tkotnyew. . .  bile dy trime aq. Looks ! aq mmg tk pndai psl ginih. apew jea aq boleyh uat bile dy trime aq ? nonsense ! SAKAI & BOSAN. love story mmg cmnih. confess, accept, reject, date n wateva larh. s0, part aq nih . . . aq tk ta0 nk trick caner bile sumenyew jdi btol. . ! ggrrrhhh ! st0p lhaa bothering me ! iya, aq sukew dy. BUT, actually. . dy tk ta0. then, aq tk boleyh lhaa asyik pk psl dy jea. Ase cm naik SAWAN GILEW B*B* ! ntah, the concluti0n is. . . yg terbaek adalh. Aq lpekn dy. .skunk & slamenyew. TERBAEK utk diri masing2 :) ag un, la0 aq c0nfess p0m, blum tntu aq bhgia. sbb aq ta0, skunk dy p0n sdg jtuh aty nan s0mone. Humm, i don't know who she is. but, surely p0mpuan uh plink TERBAEK d mata dy. Sbb, seta0 aq . . . dy aty batu ! ;DD

: : ka0 mmg bukan untuk aq : :

family, tired but awesome enough

ADushh ! ltih ugak upenyew nk uat tangki air. apsal aq mngeluh?? Haahaa. ;D   citernyew cmnih ! tdi, aq t0long bpak aq uat tangki air. biase aa, mkin rmai pnghuni kamp0ng an, s0 mkin lhaa air brkurangan. Dah lhaa fam aq ad 9 owg. huisshh ! tk sngg0p bratur pnjang cm 'FILEM P.RAMLEE' dlu2 smata2 nk ms0k t0ilet. hahaa. that y lhaa, my father uat ngki air. Dy tk mintak p0m aq t0long. aq jea yg gdik s0wg nk uat ugk. WELL, family aq nih ad s0wg jea ank laki, my handsome br0ther 'MUHAMMAD KHAIRUL HISYAM'... hahaa. hands0me kea? aq ase biase jea. tp, itu lhaa yg sllu ku dgr owg ckp psl dy 'smart'. huh ! mne kite tdi? owh. psl tangki an. hahaa. boley tahan la stamina aq nih. Aq ingat nk tolong ayahku gaulkn simen + pasir. p, dy tk bgi. dy suh aq ilex luwh. pasni, aq tol0ng lhaa dy angkut simen dlm baldi. BHAYyy ! berat glew si0t. biase lhaa, la0 p0m ku ganas.. p, aq stil p0mpuan yg lemah. p, okay aa. c0z aq angkut sume uh sampy abis. huh ! LETIHHH letihh. p, la0 tk tol0ng sape ag nk uat an. abang ku ? dy d0p UNI-KL skunk. smb0ng blaja an. s0 aq jea budak besa kt umah. Aq lah ank p0mpuan & aq lah ank laki. kuang3x. hahaa. jgn slh phm. mks0d aq, sume keje aq hrus lhaa handle. ag un, aq skew uat keje brsama family ku. lbih2 lgi dgn ayah ku. ia lhaa dy an sllu jea keje. masa utk family kurang ckit. s0, bile dy d0p umah aq sllu nk tmankn dy. kkdg, taim dy cuti. aq akn tgk tv nan dy. Sllunye ai JUMAAT. gempak aa. c0z mlm uh an ad citer 0mputis yg best2. especially la0 citer yg adventure / horror. aq nan dy lhaa muka plink ke dpan,  la0 bleyh nk jea msok dlm tv. hahAaa. ;D & taim plink aq HAPPY. taim dkat nk raye. Ingat ag, la0 sminggu sbl0m raye aq+ayah+abgku brsihkn umah. GILEW~ abis sudut kit0runk sental. hahaa ;D yg laen2 (mak+kakak2ku) d0p masak kt dpur. aq bknnyew tk nak tlg masak kt dpur. tpi.. hahahaa. aq mmg tk pndai p0m masak2 nih. skatak jerang air + goreng telur uh pndai lhaa. yg rumit2, ku tk pndai. BUT, jgn esa0. aq skew cipta mskan bwu. exmple : mkanan manis. tp, psl mkanan berat cm laut pauk. huisshh ! tk kuase aq nk cuba. tgk2 jdi cm PELIK plak 6ti. hahaaa ;D tp, mknn yg aq reka uh tk lhaa sesedap mnew. stakat nk mkn bgi kenyang per0t uh. hummm, B0LEYH lhaa. huhuu ^,^  eh jap ! pnjang plak aq g tukar line an. hahaa ;D oke, smbong psl tdi plak. Then, stu ag yg best. mlm raye. sprti biase aa, kt0runk bjage wktu mlm. tid0 uh tido lhaa p, lwat ckit. mybe pkul 4/5 pgi. hahaa ;D hm, family aq tk lhaa brharta, BUT kitorunk da trlebih ck0p KASIH SYG . . .  & itu yg plink bmakna buat id0pku. .  :)

humm, had0yy ! tk abis ltih uat keje tdi. . smb0ng plak kisah ku edit blog.. GERRR ! abis jam otak ku. pning  pning. nk cri tuh, nk cri nih lhaa. My blog tk smpurna lgi di edit. but, ckup lhaa utk hari ini dhulu. 6ti tk mlm karang or besok ku edit lgi. ;DD ngeee~

this is not about love

hmm, plik lak asenyew bile aq taip sume nih. 0tak aq abis jam d0p kuakn ayat nak bgi dy phm aq skew dy. BUT, hakikatnyew ! dy bknnyew ta0 p0m. nihh aa jdinyew bile aty da butew ! kekadang ase cam sial gak d0p tulis bederet-deret mnda alah nih sume. cm tk dep keje jea d0p luah prasaan kt blog. uishh ! glew an ? Hari2 d0p mngadap face yg same, BUT tk dep pew p0m yg blaku. 0ke, tutup bub feeling kjap eh. c0z aq nk share s0mthing kt korunk. hmm, ta0n dpn aq da f0rm 5 an. Hahaa. cpat glew mse brlalu, & hidup ku still cm Si0t sajew ! still dgn prangai kbudak-budakkn ku. Ishh3 ! tk pat0t tk pt0t. HahAaa. ;D then, aq nih dah lhaa  "PE-EE-MA-AA-LAS-ASS" , 0mwork ku buat d skola. Ape2 jea, sumenye ter'SETTLE' di skola. BIOL seyh aq nih. Hahahhaa. ta0m dpn da SPM, huishh~ tk ta0 lhaa ap akn jdi kelak pd diri ku yg  'kureng rajin' ini. wakakahhakahh83. hm, tp an... nk ckp aq nih pndai p0m, ad lhaa bnyk kbodohan yg terserlah sjak azali. huuhuu ^,^ . s0, mmg lhaa ku tk pndai HAKIKATNYE~ . aq tk pk p0m nk uat pew prsediaan f0r next year. yg ku ta0. ku mhu ke sk0la n makan di kdai CENTER. huhuu :) & yg trpenting tk saba2 nk bawak mmber aq g jlajah kwasan skola. well, ta0n dpn my gangz btmbah agy s0wg. nice an id0p nih. ku sukew brkawan. S0SIAL is my h0obbyyyyss ! i like like like it ;D s0, ssiape yg sukew nk jdi kwn aq boleyh jea. lgi rmai mmber lgi best prjlanan id0p ku :) hahaaAa.

you so automatic to me

Each step you make.Each breath you take.Your heart, your soul, remote-controlled. This life is so sick. You're automatic to me so real. C0z there's no real love in y0u. U can tk control my soul as long as u are fine with ur ways. Remove me from ur links as ur mind unweaving real. Coz life just sucks me higher baby. Try to think that we are fooling around, BUT the real is we just stuck in the nothing moment. How long u wanna tk ur time to feel it's all. Love is so real, but we are non blieved. Thinking how posible it's going to move on, if we still don't know what the BEST DAMN thing to do. From 7 o'clock to 24 hours. There's  nothing we have got. It's real ! I know we are thinking in the same position. BUT look at us now ! Nothing hv changed. Coz we just sucking our life with thinking nothing without doing anything ! HELL of my statements when i realise you are the one i hv been waiting for a long time ago. SUCK ! it's me. Doing a simple thing only, waiting for nothing. Waste my time. NEVER feel it's, when you are on my ways.
BUT, why ur heart still like a robot ! yes ! u are automatic. Aotomatic that never can move without remote-control.

idiot love make me crazy

first taim aq ase tk ta0 nk tulis ape ?? kliru weyh id0p nih ! tk ta0 nk f0llow menda ! pning l0rh. aty ckp laen, otk ckp laen, n lidah p0n ckp laen ! apsl id0p aq nih se'saru'(srabut) cmnih ! srabai glew aq ase. aty, otk, lidah. tk ta0 nk cmpakk kt ane ! b0SSaaaNNN !!! tensi0n seyhh ! apasal aa ta0m nih feelim aq cm tre'0ver' d0se gtuh ! kjap epy, kjap sdih, kjap nk mrh, kjap mng0ng, kjap itu, kjap ini, mcm2 kjap lhaa. !!! benci lhaa, kn bg0s jdi cm dlu.,  manusia yg tk dep prasaan ! skunk, tgk ape da jdi ?? ape jadahnyew la0 ad prasaan p uat aq ase skit aty jea hari2 ??? apsal lhaa, smakin aq nk lupe dy... mkin bnyak plak 'pl0t & epis0d' psl dy hadir dlm mem0ry card otk aq ??? ishh !!! SAKAI SAKAI SAKAAAIIII !!!! p, smpy hari nih aq tk ta0. knpa msty dy ? ap jea yg aq skew psl dy ?? biase jea aq tgk. n0tim special p0m. but, tk ta0 lhaa knp aq jdi nk amik ta0 psl id0p dy. nk ta0 dy oke or tidak. cm bongokx jea an aq nih !!! konon aq nih no love, no cupid. tgk aah. aq sndri sangkut kt mamat mnew ntah. Haisshh ! arap2 lhaa prasaan aq kt dy stgh jln jea. mls nk lyn bub2 feelim2 nih. no interest ! well, aq bknnyew p0yo nk ckp aq nih baek sngt. but,
aq mmg tk skew lyn feelim. first, sbb tk nk trluka n second, aq tk nk lukakn aty owg. got it ?? well, as we all know lhaa. tk sume mnda yg libatkn aty n prasaan nih hepy ending. Hmm, p tk ta0 lhaa kot2 ad ag mnusia kolot pk cm uh ! HECKLL0WW kawann ! id0p nih buknnyew cm drama samarinda dlm tv, ats stage or pape jea lhaa yg mmg seWAJIBnyew hepy ending. yea ah ! drama/filem tk pew lha sbb ad her0 n her0in dy. slh jln tk pew lhaa ad owg back up d0wg. biase lhaa name kate acting kann ! but, id0p kite nih, kite lha her0 n kite lha her0in nyew. silap langkah jea, HARAM JADAH lhaa namenyew. no excuse yg boleyh d trima 100% bile aty da patah. got it dear ?? hahaa. that why, single is more available t0 cheer up our life. right ??

............hahaaa. just telling my st0ry n opini0n only. btw, it's all up t0 u lhaa f0r the best way..........

changing myself

since i'm a child. i don't know how i can make everything okay. although i am 16 years old, i don't know how to manage myself. i'm such a quite idiot ! coz there is nothing will be alright when it's on my side. since i'm 7 years old, i always thinking myself..'why i am a girl ?' i hate myself. i love to be a boy. ): suck myself coz it's will neva happens in my life. when i am a teenager. my father send me to h0stel. there is a lot girls like me. i mean, they are love to be boyish. i have involved myself in ''pengkid's life'' . & yes, i hv c0uple with a girl. it's s0 awesome. & since that days, everything  make me smiles much more. i know, it's a sin. but, i'm too over 'bout it. & there is no ways for me coming back again in a peaceful life. i hv crush with her hardly. & she also know that i'm a girl. but, she just fine. f0r a long times, my hearts changed a little bit. my feeling toward her leave as well. i don't know why, but for me it's a good things as myself can being a girl like before. at my new school. i hv met a boy, he so wonderful. he changed me to think being a girl is so pleasure. (: since that days, i hv move on to the best ways, t0p of the best ways to get the god blessing. btw, he ws no one for me. cz there ws nothing between us. ;) & as i know myself,  i already hv someone that i can count on. mybe, he(the man i hv said bfore) is the best. but, the man i hv chose is more better than him coz, myself n words now...changing too much better bcoz of him (: unfortunately, as i say s0...d0n't get it's wr0ng way,  we just a friend only. i love him just as a friend. A  friend that make me senses to be more better. (:

_just keep in touch, myself not based on ur judges. so don't get rush ur mind thingking that i'm a LESBO/PENDZ. what the past is past. i'm a girl now. a normal girl like the others. s0, if u hate my ways before, fuxing ur hell then ! shocked 'bout it? i don't care lhaa. don't take the others s0 easy in ur DIRTY MINDED ways !!! just myself only_ ;)

_weird of a long life_

dlm bnyk2 bulan. aq skew bulan 3. sbb that my star. bulan aq di lahirkan. (: pisces, as i thought mmg unik ! hidupn aqua an. hahaa ;D but, rmaln sllu mngatakn aq jnis pmalu. hahaa. actually, tk dew lhaa. la0 aq nih pmalu, huishh ! eb0h stu dunia seyh. okeng~ mlu tuh mmg dah sifat smula jdi mnusia. but, i'm n0t too 'overdose' 'bout it. as i know, my age is 16y/o but, aq mmg tk pnh kapel scara betul. hahaa. hebadd an an ?
~ng0ng lhaa aq nih. -,-" but, mmg lhaa. cz aq ad alasn trsendri. ntah, aq nih jnis plik ckit lhaa. yup ! aq pnh skew s0meone, p aq tk syg dy ! cm bod0 jea. hahaa ;D susah lhaa nk syg owg nih. ag un, but2 kapel mmg aq fail tahap cipan ! u know y ?? cz, no love in my heart & statement 'ily' uh trllu sukr nk di ungkpkn.
seriously, ase nk trjeluwakss jea bile nk kluakn mnda alah uh. hahaa. sial an ?. hm, ag un.. aq nih jnis susah nk mint owg, but snang cari gnti. i mean., aq nih mybe jnis cm playgirl ot. la0 pn aq tk kpel nan sesape. but, atitude aq sllu uat owg slh phm yg aq mint mrk. pdhal tk p0m, & bile d0rg cba nk  rpat nan aq, aq crush them dgn cra aq tk lyn mrk & pndang yg lelaen. aq uat gtuh cz nk bgi d0wg  ta0 yg aq tk sukew p0m dowg snanye. but, tk sgka plak, mnda uh uat mrk ase di annoying kn. that y, mrk jdi nk larikn dri dri aq. mybe, d0wg malu ot cz slh phm. hmm, actually aq tk kesah p0m, cz aq oke jea pape yg blaku kt aq. malas lhaa nk amik kire. g0t it? aq mmg tk dep pngalamn kapel. eh, jap ! ad ot skali jea. but, kapel tk jdi.
cz aty aq slh tmpat n kit0wg tk ptut sme2 crush ! s0, kit0wg clash. tk smpai 2 ta0n p0m relationship uh.
yea, jjur ! dy owg first buat aq ucap ily tnpa ase nk muntah. hahaa . swear ! but, tuh citer dlu. n bile di ingatkn smula...eeeeeyyaarrkksss ! aq jdi bnci dri sndri. seb baek skunk dy bukn ssape bgi aq. (:
skunk id0p aq epy jea. well, simply minded owaez simple as well.


if u like me, u hv t0 fool me.
if u love me, u hv to break me d0wn.
if u miss me, then sucking my s0ul.
cz my heart is full of foolishness.
my s0ul is neva cn be taken away.
it's a kind of weird, but that myself.
who am i is n0t who u looking f0r.
cz my appearance dosen't mean much who am i
really is.
so, no doubt 'bout me, right?
i'm so sorry if my heartless hv hurt u hardly before.
but it's real dear.
i cn't neva fall in love rightly. (:

bc0z i dn't know what the ending st0ry

hmm, hidup terlalu sempurna untuk di huraikan. mski p0n aq ta0 sume uh membebankan diri aq sndiri ! salah siapa ble aq sndri tk dpt mngawal em0si & prasaan sndri?! ntah lah, bile d pkkan smula, ase cm diri aq completely sjuta kali salah. aq sllu lakukan hal yang tk ptut. bukan sngaja ia berlaku & aq sndiri p0n tk sedar bile sume uh bermula. perkataan yg amat sukar ku ungkapkn, mgkin sdg berlaku pd diriku scara perlahan-lahan. tp, aq tk mao sume uh brlaku. sbb aq tao dy bukn utk aq. aq tk ma0 hnc0rkn diri sndri hnya krna rse sangsi yg membelenggu diri aq slma nihh ! biar lah aq dgn diri aq skunk & akn ku anggap prasaan uh hnyalh stu msa singkt yg amt mendamaikn aq, wktu dhulu & mndatang kelak. aq tk boleh truskn prasaan uh. . .dy hnya kawan & tk mgkin akn prnah brubah 'status' kami uh smpy bebilaa . aq tk nk sumenya musnah hnya krna prasaan bod0h uh ! mski pn sukar, tp aq HARUS jua. krna aq syg dy, bru lah ku tamatkn perasaan uh. sumenya trlalu kabur bgi aq .trlalu susah utk mmbezakn ap yg sbnarnya brlku ?
aq btol2 kliru. mcm mne aq boleh idop tenang lao aq sndiri tk tao apa yg aq rasakn ?? pelik. tp, mmg aq cm uh. aq tk tao pape pn tntg aty & prasaan aq. kkdg, aq ase roh aq, tp jasad owg laen. aq sndri trlalu sukar utk fhm dri aq. that why, aq tk kesah lao owg tk phm aq.. mgkin, mmg tkdir aq sllu jdi keruh cmnih ! hmm, s0 i just let it g0 then. (my feeling toward him) ! mgkin ini kputusn trbaek utk aq & dy. oh ! no, no ! ini lah kputusan sngt2 baek utk dy. aq hruslh ykin dgn kputusn aq. right? hmmmm.

#ku brharap, bintg kn mnyinari id0p ku yg mndtg kelak#